Raising digital kids: a practical guide to online safety for parents

Your child wants to watch a video, play a game or ask an AI a question. You want them to enjoy what technology can offer — and to know what to do when something does not feel right.

You do not need to understand every app or fix everything in one afternoon. Start with a conversation, make a few thoughtful choices together, and revisit them as your child grows. This guide is a starting point for parents and carers of primary-school children.

A note about the links: The guides and articles linked below open in a new tab, so you can keep this page open while you explore.

1. Make it easy for your child to come to you

Ask what your child enjoys watching or playing, what makes a game fun, and who they spend time with online. Listen with curiosity. A regular chat about the good things makes it easier to talk about the uncomfortable things too.

If something upsetting happens, try to stay calm. Thank them for telling you, help them move away from the situation, and work out the next step together. Save evidence where appropriate, use the service’s block or report tools, and seek local help if needed.

Practise one simple sentence: “If someone asks you to keep a chat secret, you can always tell me.” Help your child name other trusted adults too. If the first adult cannot help or does not listen, they can tell another.

Read more: eSafety’s online safety basics, starting difficult conversations, and Childline’s guide to asking an adult for help (Childline is a UK service).

2. Set up parental controls — then test them

A child account and parental controls can help you manage content, purchases, privacy and time on supported devices. Start with the device your child uses most, and explain the settings as you choose them. You can gradually review them together as your child becomes more capable.

• iPhone or iPad: set up a child’s device with Family Sharing and review Screen Time.
• Android and Google accounts: get started with Family Link and check which devices can be supervised.
• Not sure where to begin? eSafety’s parental controls guide explains the choices and their limits.

Adding a device generally means signing in on a supported device with your child’s own supervised account. Some settings follow that account; others need checking on the device or in an app. Once you have set things up, test an approval request together and decline it; no purchase is needed. Check that the settings do what you intended, then revisit them after changes or updates.

3. Check games for chat, contacts and spending

An age rating is a useful starting point, but it does not tell you every way a child might interact with other players. Before a new game becomes part of the routine, check who can send friend requests, whether text or voice chat is enabled, and how purchases work.

For a younger child, a game without chat can be a practical starting point. Otherwise, review chat and direct messages both in the game and in the console or platform settings. A screen-time limit does not necessarily turn chat off.

Use the official guides for Nintendo Switch parental controls, PlayStation family settings and spending limits and Xbox Family Settings. For a broader checklist, see eSafety’s guide to choosing and setting up games.

4. Choose videos and make stopping easier

Start with a child profile and review its settings together. Age ratings help narrow the choices, but you know what your child finds upsetting or too intense. On YouTube Kids, you can approve content yourself; turning off search alone does not remove recommendations. Approving an entire channel also makes more content available than approving one video.

On Netflix, you can set a profile’s maturity rating or block individual titles. You can also review Netflix parental controls, including profile locks. An independent overview such as Common Sense Media’s YouTube Kids guide can help you decide what to review.

Agree on when viewing will end before pressing play. A warning, a YouTube Kids timer where available, or a familiar next activity can make the transition easier. If a routine is not working for your family, adjust it and try again.

A personal example: how I handle videos at home

In my family, I use an offline tablet with content I have selected when we travel. At home, I created an app that shows my daughter only videos I have chosen for her age, so I do not need to sit beside her the whole time.

We agree on a time limit. Because stopping can be difficult for her, the app can switch off after some extra time. For now, she does not have online chat access, and I use a family DNS filter on our home network.

I have made Kidoo available free of charge, with its source code available. The community version requires some technical setup, including a computer or server at home, and may differ from my own setup. The repository explains how to install it. Kidoo is one option; existing services may also offer useful content and time-limit settings.

Kidoo: source code and setup — installation information and licence details.

5. Add a family DNS filter to your home Wi-Fi

DNS is the service that helps a device find a website from its name. A family DNS filter checks those requests and can block domains the provider has identified as unsuitable or malicious. Think of it as one useful layer for your home network.

A straightforward starting point is Cloudflare for Families. Its free malware-and-adult-content option uses these IPv4 addresses:

• Primary DNS: 1.1.1.3
• Secondary DNS: 1.0.0.3

Cloudflare’s ordinary 1.1.1.1 addresses are unfiltered, so make sure you choose the family option. Its router setup guide explains the general process; the exact menu names vary by router. Before changing anything, write down the existing DNS settings so you can restore them. If your router also provides IPv6 DNS, check the corresponding family addresses in Cloudflare’s address list and follow your router’s instructions.

After setup, reconnect a device to home Wi-Fi and use Cloudflare’s family-filter tests to check it. Test the devices your child uses: a device, browser, VPN or another network can use different DNS settings. If a legitimate site stops working, check the settings and restore the previous ones if needed.

Another option: OpenDNS FamilyShield publishes its own setup guide and family-filter addresses: 208.67.222.123 and 208.67.220.123. Choose one provider rather than mixing addresses from different services, and review its privacy information before deciding.

Neither filter can catch everything or see every video, search result or message. A home-router setting does not automatically cover mobile data, school Wi-Fi or another household’s network. Keep the conversation, app settings and device controls in place too.

6. Protect privacy in everyday moments

Help your child recognise details that can identify them: a full name, school, address, location or a photo showing a uniform. Practise checking who can see a profile or post. Before sharing a family photo yourself, consider who will receive it and what it reveals.

eSafety’s privacy guide for parents has practical questions to consider. For a wider introduction to account safety, read What is a passkey? and How to spot a scam call, text or email.

7. Explore AI together

AI can explain an idea, suggest a story or offer a hint, but it can also produce an answer that sounds confident and is wrong. Check the tool’s age rules and use it with your child where appropriate.

Protect their details: type a maths question without their name or school instead of uploading a worksheet that shows them. Ask for a hint, let your child have a go, and check important answers with a separate trusted source.

For more, see UNICEF’s Parenting in the AI age, What is ChatGPT? and How to use AI safely.

8. Make a family plan that can grow

Talk about when and where devices are used, what to do when something goes wrong, and how screen time fits alongside sleep, play, school and time together. Keep the agreement short enough that everyone can remember it, and review it as your child grows.

The American Academy of Pediatrics family media plan and eSafety family technology agreement offer starting points. For more on screen habits, see Oxford Learning’s article on screen time and learning, published in 2023 by a tutoring provider and drawing on older surveys.

Start with one small step

Pick the device, game or app your child uses most. Have a conversation, check one setting and test it together. Come back to the rest when you are ready.

For a recap and useful resources, visit the Raising Digital Kids kit. The presentation slides are available there free, without signing up. You can also join the mailing list separately if you would like more updates.

Some resources come from Australia, the UK or elsewhere. Local laws, reporting services and product settings may differ. In immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.